4.03am
I had the invitation to the Envy Magazine launch which was at KL Pac today, was supposed to turn up in glam 50's rock 'n roll wear and do my thing. Problem being, I really don't know what my thing is, and there was a tug of war going on in my head.
Did I want to go and be the cool funky friendly bartender that everyone knows and adores, have my arm linked with Dee's arm and air kissing the other people that I saw that with my camera in hand to show Vamp how much fun I was having socializing. when really in my head I'm wishing I was high on highways to at least produce some verbal diarrhea and comfort to appear superficial like I really did give a shit about the people that are in the scene these days.
After so long, I'm still in this social dilemma. Who do I really want to be. After the Cat Got Your Tongue event last week, I was so sure about reappearing once again in the scene and rekindle friendships with the Somebodies, go back to partying at events and creating havoc around town ... Today though, the thought of having to dress up and make that effort to be sociable seemed like it was too much of a facade and work. I could pull it off no problem at all, but did I really want to spend my day off like that? Give up binging on junk food while watching DVDs at home in my jammies, remaining boring and anonymous. I really need to sort this. Do I want to be Miss Luna Social Butterfly again or Miss Luna I Don't Give A Fuck About Out There Really.
(A small part of me though, regrets not going to the party now) Well too late for that innit.
Instead I opted to have Rusty over, catching the midnite Indiana Jones flick with Jules, Wan and Sen. A nice shag, a cool car, caramel popcorn with Strawberry Fanta, stealing little kisses with Rusty, Mackers for supper, and now me sleepless, envious of Rusty's little snores.
It could have been much different. But really, no point dwelling now.
I had the invitation to the Envy Magazine launch which was at KL Pac today, was supposed to turn up in glam 50's rock 'n roll wear and do my thing. Problem being, I really don't know what my thing is, and there was a tug of war going on in my head.
Did I want to go and be the cool funky friendly bartender that everyone knows and adores, have my arm linked with Dee's arm and air kissing the other people that I saw that with my camera in hand to show Vamp how much fun I was having socializing. when really in my head I'm wishing I was high on highways to at least produce some verbal diarrhea and comfort to appear superficial like I really did give a shit about the people that are in the scene these days.
After so long, I'm still in this social dilemma. Who do I really want to be. After the Cat Got Your Tongue event last week, I was so sure about reappearing once again in the scene and rekindle friendships with the Somebodies, go back to partying at events and creating havoc around town ... Today though, the thought of having to dress up and make that effort to be sociable seemed like it was too much of a facade and work. I could pull it off no problem at all, but did I really want to spend my day off like that? Give up binging on junk food while watching DVDs at home in my jammies, remaining boring and anonymous. I really need to sort this. Do I want to be Miss Luna Social Butterfly again or Miss Luna I Don't Give A Fuck About Out There Really.
(A small part of me though, regrets not going to the party now) Well too late for that innit.
Instead I opted to have Rusty over, catching the midnite Indiana Jones flick with Jules, Wan and Sen. A nice shag, a cool car, caramel popcorn with Strawberry Fanta, stealing little kisses with Rusty, Mackers for supper, and now me sleepless, envious of Rusty's little snores.
It could have been much different. But really, no point dwelling now.
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